I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
