He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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