You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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