I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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