she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
