Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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