What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
