they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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