dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
