Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
