i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
