so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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