...so i touched it.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
