Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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