No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
