you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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