Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
