Pregnant stripper...not hot.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
