i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
