I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
