No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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