god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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