Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
