I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
