ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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