Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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