Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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