Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
