these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
