I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
