I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
