weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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