Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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