okay pat passed out under dana's car
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
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