i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize