That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
