we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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