i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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