and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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