Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
