"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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