I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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