We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
