"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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