bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
