I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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