shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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