I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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