guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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