so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
